Commercial Real Estate Investing for People Who Hate Reading Prospectuses.

Trust Me Bro - Commercial Real Estate Investment

We found a distressed Class C office park next to a sewage treatment plant. It smells terrible. The cap rate is insane. You in or out?

I'm In. Don't Bore Me With Details.

Our Proprietary 1-Step Vetting Process

Our Proprietary 1-Step Vetting Process

(The Fine Print: Look, we actually do dozens of hours of underwriting, environmental diligence, and market analysis. But if we put that on the website, we'd attract the kind of investors who call us every Tuesday asking why the grass wasn't mowed at the strip mall. If you write a big enough check, we'll show you the real numbers. Until then... trust me, bro.)

Stuff We Own (Trust Us, It's Nice)

Why You Don't Need To See The Properties

Undisclosed Location

Undisclosed Location

"Google Maps hasn't found it yet. We consider that a feature."

Confidential Opportunity

Confidential Opportunity

"Somewhere in the Midwest. (We know a guy on the zoning board.)"

Projected Returns

Projected Returns

"(Conservative Estimate)"

Audited Financials

Audited Financials

"Reviewed by a CPA we met at a barbecue. Stamp is real."

Meet The Team

(It's just Eric with different hats)

The MPI LLC Team - Eric Rafia as CEO, CFO, Head of Vibes, and Chief Trust Officer

* All team members are the same person. Budget constraints.

What Our "Investors" Say

(These are definitely real people and not made up)

🤷
"I gave Eric $500k and he gave me back $800k. Or was it $400k? Either way, great guy."

J.R., Somewhere

🛥️
"My financial advisor said this was a terrible idea. I fired him."

Anonymous, Yacht Owner

🕵️
"██████████████"

[REDACTED], [CLASSIFIED]

😴
"I don't even remember investing. Woke up to a check. 5 stars."

Dave, Possibly Nevada

* We have more testimonials but our lawyers said we can't use them for "legal reasons"

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Under Construction

(This section has been "under construction" since 2019)

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Frequently Asked Questions

(Asked by our lawyers, mostly)

Q: Is this a Ponzi scheme?

A: Legally, we cannot answer that question.

Q: Can I see the properties?

A: No.

Q: What's your investment thesis?

A: Buy low. Sell high. Mostly.

Q: What happens if I lose money?

A: You say "Well, they did tell me to trust them, bro" in a sad voice to your spouse.

Q: Are you SEC registered?

A: We are registered with several three-letter agencies. Whether the SEC is one of them is classified.

Q: What's your track record?

A: Undefeated.* (*We stopped counting after the first one.)

Q: How do I know this is legitimate?

A: You don't. That's what makes it exciting.

Q: Can I get my money back?

A: Theoretically.

Still have questions? That's concerning. You might not be our target investor.

Are You MPI Material?

🤔

"I need to see 5 years of pro-formas, meet the GP team via Zoom, and have my lawyer review the PPM first."

Click Here for Hand-Holding →
😎

"I hold my nose, I sign the doc, I wait for the ACH deposit."

I'm In. Don't Ruin It With Details.

(Serious Inquiries Only)

If you actually want to talk, here's how:

Eric Rafia

(408) 457-8808 · eric@meadpi.com

260 Los Gatos Saratoga Road, Los Gatos, CA 95030

As Trusted As It Gets

🔒

Secured by

Hopes & Dreams™

BBB Rating

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Definitely Not

A Scam Certified

🛡️

Trust Verified by

My Mom

📜

FDIC Insured

(lol no)

🏆

Award Winning*

*participation trophy

These badges are not affiliated with any actual organization. They were made in Canva. If you're making investment decisions based on badges, we need to talk.

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